Thank God this is the last ethics blog for this
semester! Haha. Today I would like to share about child running away from house
and we will discuss whether it is ethical or not. I believe most of the child
will think to run away from house especially in teenage stage. Teenagers are
not able to accept scold by their parents, punishment from parents (rotan on
hands during my time), nagging and control from parents all the time.
Why I choose this topic and how it is relate to
ethics? I would like to share my perspective and if anything that I write wrongly,
do comment and correct me. =)
In my childhood, I ever planned to run away from
home when I am 9 years old. That time, my siblings and me lived with my aunty
due to my parents went to Australia to work. When we stayed at my aunty house,
that time we were abused by her. For examples, she will suddenly cane my
brother with rotan while he is sleeping! Not only that, if we have wrong
spelling in spelling test, she will knocked our head with hard object for few times! There are more
but let me go into the topic. Can you imagine at 9 years old of me planned to
run away from home and I had a proper plan how to run! I discussed with my
primary classmate and she willing to help me to run away, and help me plan
together. The plan was so detailed like what time, go her house by bicycle, how
many minutes to reach her house and so on. To cut the story short, at the end,
my running away plan was failed due to my aunty knows about it.
Do we as child have right to run away from house? Is
that action ethical? I have both answers. I feel it is ethical when the child
is under some dangerous or inappropriate situation such as uncle or dad tries
to disturb the girl, abuse, unfair treatment for step daughter or son and so
on. I also agree with it is not unethical when it comes to the child himself or
herself run away from home because he or she wants to try new things, explore
the world and influenced by peer. It is a selfish act and makes parents worry.
According to Child Find of America, children that run
away from home:
42% have family problems
14% because of peer pressure
5% because of drug or alcohol abuse
4% because of physical abuse
Here is a guide to some of the reasons why children
run away from home:
v Abuse
This is probably the number one reason why children
run away from home. Physical or mental abuse does horrible damage to a child.
Some children get to a point that they say "Enough" and that is when
they run away from it. These children will see the risk of running away as
being the better alternative to staying. These are also the children that will
be the hardest to find. They run away because they are hurting physically and
mentally. They are running as far away from home as they can possibly get in hopes
of leaving the pain behind.
v Fear
If a child has done something wrong and fears the
outcome when his/her parents find out about it, he or she may run away. It
depends on the punishment that a parent will usually give for minor infractions.
If a child knows that his or her parents will beat him or her for getting a bad
grade, what in the world will the parents do if he/she was caught drinking
alcohol at a friend’s party? Imaginations can run wild in a child who fears his
or her parents.
v Drug Use
When a child has gotten caught up in drug use, you
never know what may happen. People do things they wouldn't normally do when
they are under the influence. If your child is involved in drug use, there is a
very good likelihood that he/she will run away from home in order to pursue it
further. This may sound odd, but it is true. This is especially possible when
the child has been caught with drugs by his/her parents. If there is a threat
that he/she will have to give up the drugs, he/she may run away from home. When
you are highly addicted to certain drugs, you will do anything to obtain them.
This means you will do anything to do them. Leaving home isn't out of the
question.
Most of the problem of child running from home
because of family. Family is very important to give right teaching since born.
A lot of children and teenagers have attitude problem because of the family background.
Some family is single parent, some id divorced parents, and some parents always
quarrel in front of their child, no proper family teaching and a lot.
Here are some ways to prevent child that running
away:
v Know When To Teach And When To Praise
As much as possible, praise your child when he does
something positive. For example, praise your child when he or she do some house
chores. If they do something wrong, for example throw tissue everywhere, tell
and teach them what is the appropriate way and where the tissue should belongs
to.
v Create an Atmosphere of Acceptance
Unconditional love is an idea that is used a lot in
parenting, but different people mean different things by it. It’s important for parents to have that kind
of atmosphere in their house and to reinforce it with their kids. It's also
good for parents to say, “It's okay to make mistakes around here.” Make it
clear to your child that “the way we handle mistakes in our home is by facing
up to them and dealing with them.”
v Check in with Your Child
All parents should have a system where they check in
with their kids frequently. Just stop and ask, “How's it going? Anything you
want help with?” You can say this two or three times in one day; go by their
room and knock on the door. That way you're constantly giving your child
hypodermic interest and affection. You’re saying, “I'm interested in you, I
care.” This is a skill that parents can build; it doesn't always come naturally.
Most of the parents who have worked all day come home and they're tired but you
can train yourself to do that so that you child would know you are interested
and you care about them. You never lose when you show that to a child.
There are other reasons that children run away from
home. These are just a few of the most common ones. It is important that child
feel as though he or she can come to parents with any problem without fear.
That doesn't mean that parents should never punish the child for doing the
wrong thing. It means being there for the child no matter what.
Children need to know that his or her parents love
him or her. If a child feels that parents love is conditional, parents may lose
him or her to the streets. Parenting is a tough job. It takes a great amount of
skills to do it well. Preventing child from running away from home is as easy
as putting unconditional love at the top of priority list.
